A very interesting Kong-an that we sometimes work on in the interview room is called:
Chong Nyo’s Soul leaves.
Oh Jo asked a monk: Chong Nyo and her soul are separated. Which is the true one?
In this Kong-an we look at two things: Chong Nyo and her soul. The story of this Kong-an is about Chong Nyo.
When she was very little she was inseparable with a neighborhood boy. Her families always told the two of them that they were engaged. When they both grew up, they fell in love with each other. But just then her father told her she had to marry someone else. She refused and that night she ran away with her childhood sweetheart and they married and had two children.
Then five years later she desired to see her parents again so she and her husband and children went to visit them. As soon as she saw her father, she ran to him and told him how sorry she was that she had run away. But her father was so confused. He told her that Chong Nyo, his daughter had been sick in bed for the last five years. Just then Chong Nyo came out of her bedroom and she approached the Chong Nyo who had run away and married. They reached for each other and embraced and suddenly they were one person.
The question that is asked is: Who is the true Chong Nyo?
Kong-an’s teach us about our life and our mind. It often feels in our lives that we have two conflicting ideas about what to do or what to think. We are so often living in situations which require us to do something, but inside we don’t want to.
This is also interestingly a Kong-an about a woman. So often society demands that we take on conventional roles and that we look like something we are not. So there are two and sometimes more voices inside each of us. But men face the same crazy societal demands.
One side of us feels so sad, that we can hardly bear the pain. The other side continues to live life and avoid dealing with the sadness and pain are not important.
Or one side loves to try something new. And the other side hates to change.
One side is sad. The other side continues to live in a peaceful way.
Sometimes the many sides hardly knows that the others are there. We feel so separated within ourselves. Like when you say that you will do everything to lose 5 kilos. And then you open the cookie jar and eat all of the cookies at once. Or you promise yourself that you are going to start to practice every day and then one month later, you forgot to practice the whole month.
But finally comes the day when you have to confront your entire life, the whole of who you are. Still something reminds us that we are living two lives. And suddenly there are not two minds, or two souls. There is only you looking back from the mirror. And you are at peace with what you see.
In Zen we say: there is one pure and clear thing. What is it? This pure and clear thing is never born and never dies. When the two Chong Nyos become one, then they attain the one pure and clear thing. The dichotomy ends. It is the same with us: one day we notice that the conflict is gone. Sometimes we don’t remember that there ever was a problem.
Our practice helps us to have that strong center, that is able to live through the very uncomfortable time when we are having two minds, facing conflict and yet not wanting to face conflict. In fact this is so important to living a life as a true human being… even when things are going in opposite directions, we can still take one step after the other and still help others. With a strong center we become the master of the mind, rather than the mind in its agitation trying to run around like a chicken with its head cut off.
Meditation practice helps us to reach that point of remembering to stop and look in the mirror of our minds to see that we are one. This is why we say: Only do it! At this point when we see that we are one, we just do it! We practice. We call our friends. We clean up our apartment. We eat the healthy food. We reach out to see how the neighbors are doing.
